私につて。
はじめまして。シルビアヒュームです。
イギリスに生きています。
たくさんの趣味です。日本語の本(英語の訳)は読むんでの1楽しみます。ポケモンカードも集めることです。また、猫を好きです。4匹の猫を飼っていますよ。
仕事は自営業で、日本語の トレーディングカードを売ります。
このクラスから日本語は磨くようにします。
よろしくお願いします。
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kafuka97 
Hi, thanks for joining my Japanese writing program! Here are a few corrections or comments:
1) The first line should be “私について” to be correct. However that is not a complete sentence so you might want to say something like “自己紹介を書いてみます” or “自己紹介させて頂きます” instead.
2) 生きる usually means more “(biologically) alive” than “living a certain place”. A common expression is “XXXに住んでいます”.
3) ”たくさんの趣味です.” sounds a bit incomplete and vague. You can say “私はたくさん趣味があります” or maybe “私は多趣味です.”
4) “ポケモンカードを集めることも好きです” is correct.
5) “猫が好きです” is correct.
6) Your usage of “また” sounds a bit overly formal to me, though it is correct. You could say “猫も好きです” instead and avoid using that. Or “それに”
7) Regarding the sentence ” このクラスから日本語は磨くようにします”:
a) “クラスで” is more natural
b) The “は” sounds a bit odd, like you are excluding other languages.
One way to rewrite this sentence to a bit more natural is:
“このクラスで日本語を磨きたいです” or
“このクラスで日本語を磨くようにしたいです”
Looking forward to seeing your next submission, for which I hope to post the assignment soon!
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Hi,
Thank you for your corrections. Slightly unforgivable error on XXXに住んでいます.
Having used this several times I should know better! Particles are not a strong point for me so it’s interesting to see your comments. I look forward to doing the next assignment later this week. Many thanks for your help, Sylvia
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Sure, glad to be of help!
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